open letter to Alex Trebek

Dear Mr. Trebek (or may I call you Alex?):

For a few years now, my husband, Nick, has been trying to get on your show. You know, that little Jeopardy project of yours. Frankly, I find your show kind of taxing to watch because of all of that fast-thinking involved — I mean, I’ve already spent nine hours at work; do I really need to spend 30 more minutes straining my brain? — but Nick lives for it. He watches it daily, spews out questions before you’ve even finished saying the answers, and calls his parents to let them know that he got Final Jeopardy right again. It’s annoying, yet endearing, all at the same time.

He takes your online qualifying test whenever it’s available, and I’m always amazed at how many answers (er, questions) he knows (since I stand over his shoulder watching nervously to see if he knows them). Sure, he misses a few, and occasionally puts “turd” or “turdville” in the response box when he doesn’t know the right answer (er, question), but you like a good sense of humor, don’t you, Alex? Isn’t it important for Jeopardy contestants to be smart and entertaining?

I know a lot of people think they should be on Jeopardy. But the thing is, I know that my husband should be on Jeopardy. He’ll probably get mad at my for “hyping him up” in this letter, but I just thought I’d give it a shot, because I think he’s really, really smart. And handsome… but that’s beside the point.

Anyway, please consider my plea. Oh, and if you need some new business cards or something, I’d be happy to design some in exchange for getting Nick on your show. It’s the least I can do. Think about it.


PS, have I told you how great you look without your mustache? Like a fine wine, you have only improved with age! (Too much? Okay, I’m done…)


  1. My husband is also obsessed with Jeopardy so this cracked me up!

  2. Lin is so-so at jeopardy, but he kicks butt at Wheel of Fortune. He gets the answer way before the contestants on TV!

  3. My husband, Nick, is also a huge fan. Maybe Jeopardy smarts comes with the name?

  4. OMG, I keep trying to get on the show too! I'm so frustrated none of it has come to fruition yet. My husband always says "one day, when you win Jeapardy…"

  5. Ha! Nice appeal – and also a wise move to avoid making fun of his Canadianisms and his smarmy pronunciations of all things French.

    As someone who passed the College Jeopardy test years ago and got to play in the mock game (but ultimately only came away with a Jeopardy! pen), I'm convinced this online test is a sham. The only true way to qualify for the show is to go to LA and try to do the contestant search there. I think it is a lot easier than doing the nationwide searches.

    That being said, if you ever want to green-light a trip for Nick and I to go to Cali, I'd be all for it!

  6. A friend of mine was on college jeopardy, and he said that the key is to practice buzzing. You can know all the answers, but if you buzz too late or too early, you're screwed. Let's get Nick a buzzer so that he can be ready for when Alex heeds your call.

  7. Oh my God, I can't believe I never thought about doing a letter like this for my boy. It has to work…it just has to!
    Mine takes the qualifying test every time as well, but he always spells things wrong and types really slowly. Which I don't think is fair as one never has to actually type on the show. Boo.
    He also has the Jeopardy logo as his desktop background. No. Joke.

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