dear line-cutting middle-schoolers:

I feel kind of bad about yelling at you a few weeks ago at that seafood festival. I don’t make a habit out of yelling at kids who don’t belong to me, but cutting in line is not very nice, and you caught me at a weak moment. In particular, a moment when I happened to be patiently waiting in aforementioned line for a funnel cake. And nothing comes between me and my funnel cake, kids.

When you went to the back of the line like I told you to, you proceeded to announce (loudly), “But we were in front of you! We were in front of her!” Repeatedly. Over, and over, and over again, for all in line to hear. At first, I smiled nicely and simply said, “no, you weren’t,” but then you kept repeating yourself. Again, and again, and again. Then, well, I’m pretty sure my crazy-eyes made an appearance as I turned around and snapped: “NO, YOU WEREN’T, but if it means that much to you, go ahead and get in front of me!” That certainly stopped you in your tracks. I’m pretty sure I officially became a “scary old lady” in that very moment, but at least it shut you up.

I’m not proud of my behavior, and I learned my lesson (leave the crazy eyes at home), but I also hope you learned yours: don’t cut in line, and for the love of powdered sugar, never, ever mess with a funnel cake-seeking woman. She means business.



  1. Best. Entry. Ever.
    PS. Hooray for funnel cake.

  2. If it makes you feel any better, I totally got all feisty when some hipster scum bros spent a good 15 minutes talking outside our open window Saturday night and me, in my frizzy ponytail and Spanish NT football shirt got over to my window (we’re on the kind-of first floor!) with a full badger face (Liz Lemon represent!) and told them to move along. My husband now likes to refer to me as Abner because I’m clearly turning into a curmudgeon at the ripe old age of almost-29.

    Long story short: you’re not alone. :-)

  3. Ha! Good for you! I totally understand, nothing gets between me and dessert either.

  4. Ooh, I love a good funnel cake. I think your reaction was pretty understandable, if not necessarily nice. Maybe those kids did learn and won’t just break in line whenever they feel like it now…

  5. Haha! Thanks for a great laugh first thing in the morning….(and I probably would have had the same reaction). =)

  6. @elizabeth, excellent use of the word “curmudgeon” :) That is definitely something I would have done, too! Don’t mess with my funnel cakes, OR my sleep.

  7. Hey a girl’s got to get her funnel cake. Good for you for not letting them cut!!

  8. Why are children today so lacking in manners? I sound like a crotchety old granny but I do not understand how you could grow up to behave like kids do. It is definitely your right to speak up when someone is trying to take advantage of you – especially when it involves sweet sugary funnel cakes.

  9. Awesome. Way to teach those snotty kids a lesson. Seriously though, what has happened to kids these days? Maybe I grew up in a really sheltered, well mannered area…but I feel like no one that I ever knew back at that age would do something like that…or if they did cut a line and someone called them out, they would have said “oops, sorry” and retreated to the back.

    In the past couple of years, I have also found myself becoming a bit more…crotchety with people who cop an attitude or do something jerky in front of me. Except for a few months ago when I was in the reallly long post office line and some dude walks in the door and literally just walked RIGHT in front of me and took his place in line. What??? But, there were some rough looking people in there and I kind of didn’t want to cause a scene. Shame on me.

  10. Ok, so you are officially on my must-read blog list. This entry did it. Maybe it’s that we have the same uncontrollable crazy eyes. Maybe it’s my love of all things fried and covered in sugar. Maybe it’s that 30 and official “scary old lady” are right around the corner for me, too. Rock on for telling it like it is!

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